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who am i'm going to be today?

when a woman says,
“i have nothing to wear.”, 
what she really means is,
“there is nothing here for who I’m suppose to be today.”
– caitlin moran
sweet girl. 
i’m going to be honest with you.
none of us really have a clue who we are. 
every day, for different events and occasions in our life, 
depending on who we’re with, the environment around us, 
we’re a little different. sometimes a lot, maybe just a little. 
there are versions of the me i am. 
i’m a big believer that when you get dressed in the morning
(or at 1pm these days, if at all)
it should feel special.
those pieces should be exciting. 
it has come to that part of the move that means addressing my closet.
tackling the clothes.
you’d think being married to the owner of a fashion boutique
i would be surrounded by beautiful pieces. 
and in fact, there are many of them.
but all together, as a whole.
my hangers just dont really make sense.
there’s the target boyfriend tee’s for the days when 
i need to be your stay at home mama
who knows how to put her head down and get things done. 
no high maintenance fabrics allowed. 
weather it be jumping in rain puddles or cleaning dog nose art
that tee is there for me.
then there’s the soft and flowy chiffons. 
for those nights when your daddy takes us out on dates
and i get to forget that there are a still a few inches 
of squishy baby jelly belly left hiding under my top. 
and remember that your papa loves me just as i am. 
i love the version of me that he sees. 
then there’s the pieces from the past that i just can’t seem to let go of.
if you asked me to remember the last time they saw daylight,
i’d lose track trying. 
but for some reason they’re special.
and i love remembering who i was when i wore them.
then there’s the safety nets that i keep every few hangers.
those go to pieces when i’m feeling bad about myself
and i’d like to fool the world in an effort to fool myself
that i feel good about this version of me. 
maybe this time of filtering through i’ll be brave.
weed them out.
and decide to be honest with myself. with them. with you. 
there are pieces for when i’m feeling a little big country.
and some black ones for when i’m feeling a little rock n’ roll. 
there’s the summer day skirts,
the summer night flirts, 
and something for when i think i start the trends. 
walking into our closets shouldn’t be scary or sad. 
we should want to want to put on the things through those doors. 
to play and have fun and dress up and dress down. 
it’s time that anything that shouldn’t stay, goes. 
every day is a little bit different, zo.
you don’t have to have the same day twice.
surround yourself with things that make you feel 
happy. worthy. beautiful.
try on new things. take a few risks. 
dress up isn’t just for when you are little
there may not be very much left in there when i’m done.
but i’ll smile when i see them and feel beautiful when i wear them.
 i get the highest honor of teaching you about being a woman, baby. 
and we’ll have lots of practice at dress up and pretending.
but when the silly hats come off and you step out of mama’s heals
little girl, love yourself. 
every version of you. 

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