we are a family that firmly believes anything worth celebrating should be done with donuts. i could blame it on my chocolate icing + rainbow sprinkle loving toddler, but really, it’s a family affair. so we woke jake up this year to a new Chemex + fresh bbq tools and backyard eggs and sausage with a hefty side of powdered donuts.
this guy. i’m in the middle of a lot of books right now, but one of my current faves is called Glitter and Glue. it’s a super great memoir so far, but the part that stuck out to me from the beginning was when the author’s mother describes their family dynamic as “your father is the glitter but i am the glue.” i was a little bit taken aback. almost offended, defensive even. that’s not right. moms can be glittery. we’re not always just the sticky hands holding all the crazy pieces together. i was maybe even a little bit motivated to be sure i was a little sparklier that day. but that night, we went to our traditional summer sunday night hot dog bbq at my parents house and I watched as Jake slid down a too-small-for-him-slide on his stomach, holding zoey’s hands as she slid backwards before him and thought to myself, “right there. there’s the glitter.”
it’s my favorite truth. i love being a fun mama and I daily remind myself to be + strive to be + love being involved with my family. i’ve never wanted to be a sideline mom that says “maybe your dad will take you” and i’m always up for a new adventure. but really, Jake’s the glitter. it’s in his eyes. the minute he walks through our door, our house comes alive. it doesn’t matter how fast I walk to greet him with a welcome home kiss, the rest of the family, furry + toddler alike, have beat me to him. nothing is as much fun as when dad is there and i never ever want that to change. he’s the heart of our family.
he loves with a kind of love that gets you to your bones. gives the kind of hugs that should be the definition in the dictionary. you know the ones, the perfect one hand high, one hand low, just hard enough to know he means it and just a second longer than you would have let go so you know it was his idea. there’s been so many times in our life that i wished he would have been more involved in this conversation or stepped in during that event. completely sure that i knew how to handle it better. but with enough time and extra doses of humility, it always turns out that he was right. silence was best and that wasn’t our business. i started this marriage so sure i was going to teach him so many things. (yuck, by the way.) and 7 years later, some days i feel like i can’t take notes fast enough. is there anything more important? he’s truly the other half designed to encourage growth in all my flaws. bring out all the shine in my strengths. to settle all the fears with a simple hand around my waist.
i know this was a father’s day post. and right about here you’re maybe saying, i didn’t sign up to read 800 words on why he’s a great husband. but here’s my bottom line. in my heart, it seems, that the best husbands make the best dads. because i’m not sure there’s anything more important for zoey to learn in this life then how to be loved by a man who loves like this one. if there’s one thing i could give her, in her whole life, it’s a man like her daddy. i can’t teach her how to handle all of it, for reals, i’m still figuring it out. but to know that she’ll grow up feeling love. experiencing love. and watching her favorite guy love her mama first hand, she’ll learn all she needs to know. so happiest fathers day to the man who makes this life the real deal. he didn’t marry me thinking he was going to be surrounded by 3 highly emotional women (i think it’s safe to say this new babe will follow in her mama + big sister’s footsteps there). but he takes us on as a gift with gentle pride and loves us oh. so. well. you’re the best, babe. forever grateful for all of you.